Prometheus and Lasagna

After hundreds of thousands of years of the species homo sapiens, it’s truly amazing to be the first person to achieve, create, or experience something. Maybe someday I’ll create an algorithm or prove a theorem which will change the world. Perhaps one day I’ll steal just a bit of knowledge from the gods, and then give it to the world. However, Aug. 13, 2024 was not to be such a day for me, at least not as such.

I was mid-move between two apartments in the sweltering summer heat of Austin, TX. Sitting in my old, almost empty apartment I found myself with a problem and a half. First, the half problem: I was hungry; thankfully this was easily remedied by leftover lasagna in my old fridge. Second, the whole problem: I had already moved my silverware.

Thoughts of Prometheus, fire, and primacy swirled through my head as I ate that lasagna with a broken piece of tape measure as a utensil. For now, I’d just have to settle for experiencing something new on behalf of the human race. After all, it worked pretty well.

Endnotes

• An old tape measure of mine had broken, but I kept the pieces of the tape (approximately 1 foot long) for possible art projects. It’s a pretty cool material!
• Consider this post the sharing of my experience with the world.
• To avoid “first experiences” of your own, I suggest you move your kitchen, utensils, and the contents of your fridge all at once.